And one note that struck me was that ALL of us had something, some food, that was perfectly safe and fine for our kid-- but that wouldn't fall under " best practices. "
For example: one mom told me her kid ate fast food fries from one place that supposedly has " may contain trace amounts of..." On the ingredient list. Has always been safe -- before the labeling and after-- so she will continue to eat it-- expands the limited possibilities.
And another mom said:" we have peanut butter in the house, and the younger kid takes PB&J for lunch-- but we use a different counter, separate utensils and only make it when older allergic one is in another room. "
Concessions are necessary, I think, to keep us sane. If my child has not had a reaction to a diner hamburger in the hundreds of times he's eaten at different diners, I'm going to go with it -- and believe them when they say the burgers are not cooked on the same grill as the eggs are fried. That keeps me sane-- of course if the place looks dicey or the initial answers seem no good -- then it's fresh turkey or a salad. But I'd say that in the last five years( who can remember before that!) NO reactions have occurred. And many burgers -- sitting with friends or family-- have been consumed.
Of course I'm not saying don't be safe or don't ask and look and check it out-- DO all those things -- but aslo accept the good outcome when it happens and run with it.