"Get Over It" or how to grow a great kid

Did anyone read the Vogelstein article in NYTimes magazine about three weeks ago-- about FAT DIET- and epilepsy. Quite interesting about disease and how food is helping very measured and very restricted diet. But kid is stabilized. I had to write him-- partially to let him know that he should not whine so much: his wife quit her job to cook for kid, can't eat birthday cake, planning for events, playdates, sleepovers difficult-- join the club. I told him I fell somewhere between compassion and "get over it." Life is different from what we thought-- well, yeah. And it hurts when your kid can't eat birthday cake-- sure does, and it's your job to puton the brave face and say-- builds character, that's life and you'll be OK and the alternative _-eating the forbidden food-- can really be dangerous and hug and hug and hug.

Sure it stinks, but better than the ER or worse. And, as I did tell him too, the adversity makes our kids stronger, mature, responsible and ready for anything-- not necessarily all great at a young age, but if you've got to deal, at least there's a good outcome...

We're building the leaders and doers of tomorrow (for some of us tomorrow is moving ever closer!)

So cheer up i told him-- our world can inform your world with Bento boxes, nutritionist, support groups and just knowing you're not alone...

Hope I came across as, ultimately, helpful and not snarky-- but really, a lot of us have been dealing for a long time, and one can; one has to!

and now...Guess what I'm doing-- you're right-- thinking what to make for lunch. I've gotten tres boring-- and luckily my kid doesn't have a lot of time for lunch so doesn't notice. soon.

Happy New Year- and food allergy management standards published

Happy New Year.

I hope that everyone has a good, safe and adventurous year. That's what I want. And I know with a kid going off to college the adventure is built in.

Note that FAAN has worked hard on standardizing food allergy diagnoses and “Guidelines for the Diagnosis and Management of Food Allergy in the United States” was published in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology. in early December. yay.

This means that in California or Michigan food allergies will be diagnosed and deal with in the same way. This might even mean more physicians will understand the management of food allergies and certainly this article will have an impact on how allergists outside the big food allergy hospitals will help their patients. I think it's great and a strong step forward for education.

Holiday cheer and frustration

It's two weeks before Christmas . You get an email about a special breakfast at school. you call the head of the cafeteria, and you ask what the ingredients will be in the potatoes. You silently say thank you because the hash browns are safe.

But on the morning of that special breakfast, you realize that no matter what you've done, or sent-- the bagel with sausage, the breakfast empanada, the chocolate chips-- it still is miserable for your son to sit and watch his classmates of 12 years be served waffles, omelettes, pancakes, sausage by their teachers, and he is not. He goes to the kitchen to ask for his plate-- and the head has forgotten, no blame here there's 50 kids and lots of other holiday requests, but still.

They say misery loves company, but I think our kids often suffer it alone, not wanting to share their frustrations with others or get upset in public. Not saying we don't get the call, but I wish there were a way to have them not be so isolated.

I always say, the worst it can be is terrible-- and that morning, I guess I was right.

So here's the new look of my website-- easier to comment and chat (aka-blog) and all is good. Hope you all like it!

Asking for ...favors?

For the first time in the 13 years we've been at one school, I have asked the head of the kitchen to prepare a meal for my kid. She's been willing in the past, but he hasn't. not safe, not fast enough and didn't want to be singled out.

but today I did.

It's breakfast-- which is the hardest meal for us to make anything special or portable. We usually bring Cheerios... a big fan-- and maybe order bacon or home fries if not in butter or on an eggy grill.

Thanks-giving

I gave lots of thanks this Thursday-- we had a lovely day, and I was thankful for another gathering of family and friends. i was thankful that my brother made a bunch of completely safe veggies-- so that I didn't have to, and that my gluten free stuffing turned out great without my having to bake bread.

I was thankful that my child is safe and well-- allergies are doable. And as we visit colleges I realize that not only are they doable-- he can manage them fine.

I was thankful that I am not in this alone, and that my many friends -- usually not in this city-- in this allergyworld are there for advice and comfort and support.

And, mostly, I am thankful that I can see the realities of this food allergy stuff, and am not overwhelmed by it (usually) or made angry by it. I want to live this life fully, and not be thinking "oh shucks this stinks" because in reality-- I'm living the dream-- and thank you Curtis Zimmerman!

FAAN Teen Summit

As usual-- wow-- Teen Summit was great. Lots of kids and parents sharing their ideas and anxieties and laughter. Mostly about the sharing, and the friendships-- I get to see a number of great friends only this once a year. We spend the time together and just hang out talking about our kids (no surprise) and watching the kids relax among friends. Everybody gets it!!!

and, it always reminds me that other families have it way harder than I do-- either more severe reactions, or school districts that are difficult, or they've just found out, or bullying-- really brings great perspective to my life.

exhausting, but so fun.

I learned that Bacon on a salad bar line is really SOY and flavorings.... who knew.

I learned lots of other things too-- about anxiety and distress and that peanuts don't aerosolize on airplanes (which have very good air circulation systems) and that keeping a kid home from a school trip isn't the best thing to do for protection. offer to go along, send food (obviously) and have the child advocate for self. isolation and withdrawal are not options!

college visiting

Hi there all you parents of college seniors... or juniors. I'm here to tell you that while it's not always pretty (I'm not getting out of the car, I don't like the look of the place) college visiting is not bad --allergy wise.

All colleges we have looked at have been accommodating--at least on paper-- about allergies. The cafeterias have been easy to negotiate and most have Vegan and Veggie and kosher areas that offer a variety of foods without eggs and dairy which is good. Most places I've seen also have a gluten free area including toasters-- so that's good too.

We recently had lunch in one of the college cafs --my son ate from his previously packed lunch-- college visits are no time for accidents! As we inspected, I saw that the staff used separate utensils for each dish served; there was little spill over-- at the hot service bins, the salad bar was a different story. and there were a number of options for my multiple food allergic son: kosher roasted chicken, white rice, plain burgers and fries, roasted "steak" and steamed vegetables-- choice actually.

The salad bar was OK, but the dressings were a little sloppy -- ingredients were listed for every meal, including the allergens, on easily visible cards. And the servers were more than happy to help me with ingredients and with labels.

It was a relief, but also the slamming knowledge again of how every day these allergies are a negotiation in life, a task, a risk.

I know that our kids are up to it, just wish they didn't have to be.

Routine and last post vanished--

Hi my last post vanished... just as I was publishing-- I was commenting that it's hard to get back into routine again, seems that lunch and dinner are just coming more quickly... I know I sound silly, but it's true. Last weekend had to do 2 dinner, 3 lunches and 2 breakfasts--for packable and nonperishable as there was a school trip and didn't think the pack was going in a refrigerator for most of the time. Chicken is good for that-- steak-- and LOTS of veggies--carrots, celery, olives, and lots of rice cakes too.

And it is hard to get back into the routine-- was summer just so carefree and laissez-faire? I guess so, food and bedtimes!

and I am searching for some hearty foods-- especially carbs-- that travel well and aren't too hard to pack or eat. my breads are pretty lame-- they never get browned and they are a bit spongey if not able to toast... there's rice and beans I do that a fair amount with a small thermos; and cereal plus rice cakes (ahh the proverbial rice cakes) . Need more-- and can't quite get the rhythm down of packing lunch that is different every day-- or at least varies..

more soon

how you feeling????

Not been writing for a while-- busy on my cookbook--THAT NO ONE WILL ACQUIRE. If anyone knows a publisher out there looking for a great everyday allergy cookbook-- let me know!

I've gotten some nice comments and mostly some notes on how the marketplace is too niche ... but this is a great product, and crosses the line away from allergy too-- since the food's family oriented and made with regular (read "non-health-food -store- only") ingredients.

oh well, will keep on getting out there to hawk it. :)

new products, new ideas

I've tried a few new products:
Mr. Krisper's rice crackers-- we use salt and pepper which can be a little spicy, but can't use the sour cream or bbq flavors-- but delicious and no gluten or wheat.
Vegetarian refried beans: Oy, I forget the company... will update later-- it's NOT Amy's since they use the same lines as other allergens.
Orgran Quick Bread mix-- easy easy easy and no eggs-- just water and margarine
Enjoy Life Bagels-- yummy . They're frozen, and they defrost well in a lunch pack (or an a plane ride!) and they warm up well. We don't have a toaster... don't ask... so wouldn't know about that, but really good. I know that Whole Foods carries them.

As for new ideas: Pasta primavera is a lovely summer dish esp in this heat. I use Tinkyada
Ok funny name, but delicious rice pasta-- cooks al dente, hold it's flavor and shape (use a healthy dose of salt) and is tasty. From an Italian, that's a rave.
I julienne carrotts, rough chop steamed broccolli(or asparagus) into small pieces, thin red or yellow pepper strips, chop garlic, julienne sweet onion, grape tomatoes halved (if you can have them) and frozen peas too. lots of chopped basil or parsely or both.
Drain the pasta, throw in all the veggies and about three tablespoons of olive oil for every pound of pasta, Toss, cover with a plate for a few minutes and then toss again and serve.
You want the tomatoes and onions to wilt, but not get too mushy. salt and a little fresh pepper good here too!
(I have been known to toss in julienne cooked chicken breast as well) We don't include cheese in our house, but a little grated pecorino romano would taste good on it as well.

cross country and a shout out

Well, off he goes-- to a program on the other coast, excited, ready, going to be doing some interesting thinking -- and eating I hope.

The school has residential clusters for whom there is a food service which automatically makes vegan and veggie entrees-- and he can ask for anything anytime to be cooked his way, and they already have his box of Cheerios in the office for his use only.... sounds great, so am hoping that it works that way.

And anyway, my kid's ready to make do if he has to-- program attracted him not for the food service!

but enough about separation anxiety! that's a story we all know --whether it's the first time they stay at a birthday party alone or their first overnight trip with school or their first camp summer. the reaction is always YIKES! how'd that happen so fast.

Shout Out: B.R. Guest restaurants In NY there are about five of them-- and one of the principals spoke at the FAAN conference about their kitchens' allergy procedures-- and it was really impressive without being over the top or condescending.

AND-- my thousand -foods-allergic son went for lunch and had the exact experience described at the conference--right down to the little "flag" toothpick that said "allergies" stuck in his hamburger. BRAVO!!!

will keep you posted (bad pun) on progress et al.

cruise was great

Cruise was great-- not only fun, but really a true vacation for me since I do not have to cook or even think about food (except on excursion days, and that's really easy too if you take a Ziploc bag or two)

there's salad all day-- which means lettuce and kidney beans and olives and celery-- and there's burgers and fries and taco chips too. and dinner was a plate of crudite --different every night mind you-- of broccoli, peppers, carrots, olives... then salad, soup and some delicious meat, like lamb chops or pork loin, and steamed veggies and potatoes! My kid ate like a king and I didn't have to lift a finger (except to bend an elbow!). verrry relaxing and SAFE SAFE SAFE,

He even got sorbet for dessert.

Now i'm starting to pack for summer program... sounds like a great group at this university-- they've been attentive and get it! ("oh we'll get separate Cheerios since won't do to have them in the tubes we use for other cereals...." that's getting it)

so wish me luck, hope I don't forget anything crucial... I'll make those lists and ship it out. (...Rawhide is echoing in my mind, gotta stop now)

food on a cruise

End of school and summer weather. going on a cruise where whole family can be carefree-- one chat with the head of dining and viola, meals are cooked to perfection with choices and carrotts cut into shapes!
also so many choices of kinds of food: always burgers( made on separate grills from cheeseburgers!) and chips and soda and Jello and hot food and salad salad salad--which can be carried up to the room for knoshing before dinner! hey I have a teenager-- always hungry.
PLUS he can get it all himself-- no fuss no muss no worries-- for seven days all the same strict standards of preparation and presentation--that is, the sunflower seeds stay in their own closed containers on the salad bar and the dressings are at a different table.
that's a vacation! (Use Holland America cruise line, which on a trip to Alaska had the chef come chat with my son to see what/how his food --on a train!!!-- could be handled--also great medical services, should we ever need them) happy trails.

Packable, Easy to Find Individual Items

I'm going to list :

Minute Rice "ready to Serve" rice (2 pack; microwaveable)

Motts Applesauces

Jello cups

Raisins

Cranberry (in raisin like packages)

Enjoy Life cookie packs (2 little cookies each, but eminently packable for lunch)

Cereals in a cup: Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops-- many 7-11s have them (convenience store in NE)

Instant cereals: Oatmeal and Grits-- makes for a great snack and most hotels have coffee pots that one can use for making hot water

Baby Food in jars-- don't laugh, they are terrific for older kids as well-- lots of nutrients and easy to carry around

Rice Dream in individual "juice" boxes-- protein in a box, plus a drink

Rice cakes

Enjoy Life Protein bars

Oh-- and I recently went "shopping" at a chain drugstore that has some food items: We can't eat yogurt, but they had, in their refrigerator section:

• fresh salads in containers
• individual containers for cut up vegetables
• containers of cold Jello cubes
• deli meats in packages

I did very nicely!