letting go

OK I am not good at letting go.

is it the mother in me, is it the me in me?

don't know, but I am not good at letting go.

I still want to have control of the food situations, and while sometimes that works, more often-- now that my child is old enough to "do it myself" -- it does not and I am caught in the hailstorm of "why didn't you leave it to me."

So I try to be hands off, and let my supremely capable child take care of it.

Maybe it's that I want to continue to protect him; maybe it's because I want to shield my child from the harsh world out there and the hard realities of the limitations of his diet.

Or maybe it's just a habit.

Or maybe it's that I am trying to prove I'm perfect and not listening to anyone else... gee I really hope it's not that because that makes me seem very limited myself.

So I struggle on, not quite winning the battle of doing it all, not quite not doing it all.

reflections from a very rainy afternoon in NY